Five years ago in summer 2005, I broke up from a barely there 5 month relationship with a Mr Unavailable.
Up until then I’d been convinced that I was having a run of bad luck with relationships, that I was the one trying my best to make things work, and that I seemed to have a neon sign on my forehead inviting broken, unavailable men to be interested, often with a girlfriend or an ex lurking around in the background.
None of these guys have been particularly rude or nasty –they have all, in fact, been very kind and openly honest.
They have poured out their hearts and their souls or spoken of their leading ladies in the highest of terms.
These are the mysterious, ambiguous guys that will always keep you guessing and keep you “on your toes” (for reference, “on your toes,” is a polite way of saying “in a perpetual state of mixed signals, mind f*ing and the questioning-everything-kind-of-insecurity, insanity, WTF-is-wrong-with-me-I-must-be-going-crazy, miserable existence that you’d rather be in and try to “fix” than be out of and alone).
You’re more unhappy than you are happy, you can’t move on and you don’t know what to do. At times, you’ve seen him be everything that you want.
Recently, because I made no rules for this 12-step program, I went on a “date.” It was a very simple meeting in Bryant Park with coffee –that ended up lasting close to four hours. He’s full of simple humor and his sincerity is evident.
When I shared my truths, it connected with thousands of women men around the world who have lived my experiences.
When you discover that it’s like all of these men have all read the same playbook and they’re being scarily predictable and that there are other women out there just like you, it’s freeing because you can stop blaming yourself for what they’re doing and take control of your own happiness.
Mr Unavailable always has obstacles that get in the way of him being present and accountable and when he runs out of obstacles to blame, it turns to you.
impossibilities associated with being involved with a guy who’s incapable of a genuine emotional connection.
All of the emails I received were from women and men, who were involved with, are involved with or are a sneeze away from attempting to recreate , trying to get over someone that they KNOW is emotionally unavailable.